A psychologist has revealed three signs your partner is manipulating you to stop you leaving – from gaslighting to financial control to isolation.
The Birmingham-based qualified psychologist and author Dr. Lalitaa Suglani, who offers courses on topics such as managing anxiety, overcoming fear and impostor syndrome, took to Instagram to share information on the topic in a recent video post.
She added a caption to the video that read, “Have you ever felt like you couldn’t trust your thoughts because your partner insisted you say something you were pretty sure you didn’t have?”
“And how often do you end up apologizing even though you know you didn’t do anything wrong?”
She continued, writing that manipulation can be so insidious that “we don’t even notice it’s happening.”
She listed the three ways a person can manipulate their partner into staying in a relationship, saying, “Number one is gaslighting.”
“It’s about manipulating someone into questioning their own perceptions, their own memories, their own reason.”
“Abusers may use gaslighting techniques to make their partner doubt their experiences, leaving them feeling confused and unsure about leaving.”
She also cited isolation, which she described as a state in which your partner “may isolate you from your family, friends and other support networks.”
This, she said, aims to “control their access to help or information, which makes it more difficult for them to leave the relationship.”
In the continuation of the video, Dr. Suglani: “Number three is financial control.”
“Here they can control their partner’s entire finances, making them dependent on money or resources.”
“This can create real barriers to leaving, as you may fear not being able to support yourself or your children if they leave the relationship. This is three hidden ways and manipulative.”
Several Instagram users commented on the video and shared their experiences with the behaviors she mentioned.
One wrote: “Yes, these three options sound far too familiar.” “Thank God I was finally able to free myself, but the effects of these years of harmful behaviors require a lot of work to move on.”
Another added: “Wow. I totally felt that. And like many other things in a drug relationship, it was only after the end and when you think back on all the moments that you realized what they had done. The saddest thing of all is that I am not always sure if they are even aware at that moment that they are doing it, not out of innocence, but because they are well practiced at it.”
Meanwhile, a third simply said: “That’s how it was.”
Dr. Suglani posts regularly on Instagram where she covers a range of mental health topics including relationships and others
One of the topics she regularly covers is high-functioning anxiety (HFA), which she has recently written a book about and which is thought to affect around 20 per cent of adults in the UK.
HFA is described as a condition in which “people appear competent and successful on the outside, while internally they are silently battling intense worry, self-doubt, and fear of failure.”
“High-Functioning Anxiety – A 5-Step Guide to Calming Inner Panic and Thriving” will be published on May 28th.
According to information about the tome is in it Dr. Lalitaa shares it Personal journey of self-discovery and growth that sheds light on high-functioning anxiety and offers readers a path to understanding and embracing their authentic selves.
The book explores the root causes of HFA as well as the science behind it and the behaviors associated with it through real-life case studies.
In addition, it offers those affected a “toolkit for dealing with fears, unrest and self-doubt”.
The psychologist said of the book: “For those who struggle with inner fears and self-doubt, this book should be a ray of hope and a reminder that we are all inherently good enough just as we are.”